Comments on: A question for women about sharing bills when moving in together.?

By: Shanesgrl

Shanesgrl — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 21:11:03 +0000

I think it is different with every couple. My husband has never asked me to work (I do work part time, by the way) and would prefer me to stay home. He pays all the bills and gives me extra $$ if I need it. In return he has never had to pick up a dirty sock or make his own dinner. I’m sure alot of people disagree with this but it works for us. We’re both a little old fashioned and we take very good care of each other in our ways.

I don’t agree with women who demand equal rights and then expect to be taken care of. Women like that lack class and common sense. So, I agree with you. Equal is equal. But, you should definitely talk these things over before moving in together. Some people may feel differently and my husband and I are the prime example. But, in most cases I’d say you were perfectly correct.

Also, you have to take into consideration if there are children involved, college, a possible marriage, who will be doing the cleaning, and salary differences between 2 people . . . All these things can make a huge difference. Every situation is unique. I’ve been on both ends to where I was the sole income and where I haven’t had to work. Both are hard. I have 3 children and my teenage sister who lives with me so even though I don’t ‘work’ you can bet I put in more hours a day than my husband does.

By: ophirhodji

ophirhodji — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:35:58 +0000

I agree that the bills should be shared and your take on it sounds reasonable provided you are moving in to a place that is within both peoples budgets. And I believe you should write out the agreement with an initialed copy for each should the relationship not work and there be any questions later. This would eliminate a lot of litigation later.

By: kgray1216

kgray1216 — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:11:03 +0000

These things should always be agreed upon prior to living together.
If both parties are working and drawing a salary, I agree with housing costs being divided in half, and car payment, credit card bills being paid individually. If the guy can help the girl if she’s having a rough time financially, that is fine, but only if he wants to do that, and is able to do that.

I think that only a spoiled, high maintenance woman would EXPECT a man to pay all the bills alone, and let her do whatever she pleases with her paycheck.
BUT, if the man WANTS to pay all the bills, then that is very noble of him. To each his own.

By: chowderboxallnite

chowderboxallnite — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 19:53:46 +0000

The only “but” I would add is if one makes a bunch more money than the other. It is not fair to move into something that ONE of you can not afford and then tell them they have to pay half.

These sorts of things should be discussed BEFORE you move in.

what if you like to have shotime and skinimax and she doesn’t should she pay half of your cable bill?

What if you want Fiber to the house so you can play MMORPGs all night, should she pay for half your internet?

Justplaying devil advocate but usually finances are the biggest problem with a relationship.

By: Karen

Karen — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 19:22:20 +0000

I do beleive equal bill sharing. There are a few caveats. If the man wants a more expensive apartment or other option, then the man should be paying more. Each person should state what they feel they can contribute, then they can use the lowest number (double it) and find a place in that range or just combine the two. Who is doing the cooking, cleaning, etc.? These should be shared equally too….or one person can do more to make up for an inequality in bill contribution. Another caveat is if the two plan on getting married….then these need to be discussed rationally. I personally don’t want to marry someone who is too much of a stickler for equality…and likewise I would share my money with any guy that made less than me (and I have on several occasions) if it was serious enough to move in together. If you are moving in together and it is a relationship….then the finances should be discussed up front and decided before moving in….as that can be a dealbreaker if one person either expects to be a freeloader or is too stingy/greedy.

By: mooseykins

mooseykins — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:58:14 +0000

I think a seperate account should be set up. One just for the household bills and each one put equally the same amount. The bills get paid and the rest is yours. This money should be for all bills, car notes, insurance everything. This is my thought.

By: elizatash

elizatash — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:00:33 +0000

I totally agree with you on this one. My parents raised me to take care of myself. I have been in a situation where I was supporting the guy I lived with, and it is NO fun. Split it all down the middle. You are each responsible for your half, and your own personal stuff. That is completely fair. It would be no different if you had a roommate. The ONLY exception to this would be if there are children involved because that usually cuts down on how much at least one half of the couple can work, and they are a full time job in themselves… but that is TOTALLY an issue that you and your other half will have to think about and discuss.

By: deathbykerosene

deathbykerosene — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:36:48 +0000

I agree with you copletely. Shared bills should be divided, individual bills payed individually, and whatever is left is for the person or couple to decide how to use it.

By: elurle

elurle — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 16:49:32 +0000

I’m a guy but this seems very rational. I have to admit that years ago I lived with someone and had this same issue. We had made the agreement to ‘split the bills’ which I thought was enough but it turned into the type of disaster you described.

The situation was a coup for her since she ended up paying a few hundred a month while I literally paid thousands. I would never consider this again. It’s like loaning money to friends or family, it can never end well.